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Nice wedding dinner!!

1:43 AM

17/12

heh..ytd (16/12) dun need go sch..haha..woo hoo!!so went chris hse for personal time..hmm..pray that her skin will recover soon..condition quite bad..then after that i was planning to cook fried rice for dinner..so i went to buy the ingredients..

then i suddenly recall i dunno how to go joshua's brother (Johnathan) wedding dinner place..so i was asking joshua how to go..then joshua ask wanna mit up for dinner anot then "sun bian" bring me go there see see..then i was like huh??haha..quite sudden lah..then ok loh..since he wanna shop for Xmas presents also..err..1st time josh was telling me that he wanted to go shopping..so being a very nice person, i agreed..LOL..

haha..in the end..din shop..but we ate alot..LOL..from FJ, dessert to coffee club mud pie and mocha..i was SUPER full..and haha..he received his pay..so he wanna treat..haha..ok..being a very nice person again, i grant him his wish.. =P

then when i was enjoying my mud pie and talking to josh, a call came at 10.15pm...private number...i got a very uneasy feeling..it was zhihui on the line...the conversation went something like that:

Zhihui: " Do you know what time you have to reach foo chow?"

Me: "Yup..9.50am"

Zhihui: "Nope..yours is at 8.50am.."

at this moment, i dun want to embrace the reality..for those going for gen12, normal team members just need to reach at 9.50am..only the Team Leader and Asst Team Leader need to reach at 8.50am for the Leader's training..so..

Me: "huh..............TL or ATL?"

Zhihui: "You are the TL.."

then the rest dun need to cont liao..just basically bye bye..hai..when i received the news, kind of like dun want to accept the role..cos i feel that this role is very stressful lah..leading a team to overseas..im not confident that i can do it and also whether i can take on this heavy responsibility anot..then was telling josh the above..when i was on the train back home, i cant even slp..was thinking and thinking..normally, for those who knows me, i will usually slp on the train..but this time round just cant slp..

then i reach home at 12plus i think..then i told my mum that im the TL for the team..i told her that im not confident enuff to take up the role lah..overseas somemore..then she told me that it is nott he 1st time im a leader..and that she has absolute confidence that i can do a gd job..she knows the nature of the trip and yet she still support me..i was quite surprise lah..then at 1plus, i took out the ingredients i bought and was cutting them up,marinating them at 1plus!!can you imagine??when im too stress, tend to do extreme things..which i dunno why im doing what im doing also..then after that..i went to do my QT..

i was telling God that i really cant handle the stress of being a TL..members conflict, team mtgs IC, etc..i told God how scared i am..how fearful i am..it is really fear..the fear is worse than witnessing to my parents..that kind of fear..wah man..i went to God with tears literally..

then i was reminded of the song "Shepherd of my soul"..and the psalmist David..when David was distressed, he cried out to God..he was completely honest with God, asking God why He has forsaken David..but always at the end of each psalms, David will still praise God, acknowledging His sovereignity..then it occur to me that "Eileen, you can cry out to God..telling Him all your inadequacies, your fears, etc..however in the end, will you be like david who will still trust God?"

so it is like a parallel to me..am i letting my own troubles and fears to cloud or blind me of God's attributes?do i want to be like David, having a balance of his honesty to God and God's goodness?will God change His character and will jus becos im fearful?

in the end, i thank God for all the positive things that have happened thus far regarding this gen12..like how God change my parents' heart that they actually allow me to go for gen12..and how my mum encouraged me earlier on regarding the issue on TL..hey!God is using non-believer to minister to me..esp when that person is my mum..then when i see the positive things, i cried even harder.this time round..it is tears of gratitude..

17/12

however..i think doubts still remain in my mind..and the whole night i cant slp..woke up at 6am to cook fried rice so that i can ta bao it to foo chow for my lunch..still abit down on my way there and was telling yan xiang how lousy i felt the nite before lah..

but then..after the leaders' training and qing wen's prayer, i was suddenly filled with joy!!im more confident and was really happy!!dunno how come i felt this way also..haha..but really thank God..that He also encouraged me thru the other TLs and ATLs as well.. =)

training was very helpful..roger and yiwei were the emcee..haha..so funny!!yiwei very blur and roger very cute!!LOL..then i was enjoying myself thruout the training..and then after that got team mtg..after which i mit up with cerelia and both of us went to my grandma hse liao..haha..and oh ya!it is like my whole family know cerelia..so haha..my cousins and sister can mix well with her..hehe..i think so..

wah..took a short 10mins nap when i reach my grandma hse..then i quickly go to the salon to have my hair done for johnathan wedding dinner..cerelia went with me also..hahaha..so funny man..then hair finish liao..went home change and put make up..err..eileen dun like to put make up lah hoh cos it is very ma fan..but this time round..going wedding dinner..so cannot so "qing cai"..cerelia help me make up and my mum help also..LOL..both of them were very funny..have to make funny facial expression so that the make up can be applied on more smoothly..LOL..it was very funny..fun time..i cant luff much cos got make up.. =(

haha..then my mum help me get my bag..and called my dad..haha..initially my dad say that he cant bring me to Raffles the Plaza cos he scared got traffic jam..then very hard to coem out..then im like ok loh..nvm..i ownself take cab loh..cos given my attire, it is not suitable to take mrt..and i sweat easily..then squeeze here and there in the mrt..ai yah..dun want lah..then rainign somemore..haha..then my mum kind of "pressurise" my dad to bring me there..then im like...errr..later he angry how?then in the end my mum say that he will wait for me at the shelter..so TJ and cerelia got free ride..haha..

woo hoo!!joshua in coat and tie!!LOL..looks cool man!!but then i think it is quite hot..but got air con so nvm..haha..hmm..the food was FABULOUS!!one of the best i had so far..real good man..haha..everything is nice!!LOL..hmm..the progs were quite interesting also..videoclip, speech, choir singing, yum seng, etc..and oh ya!!johnathan wrote a song for his parents..and one more song for his wife..he was playing the piano and singing at the same time!!NICE!!i was like closing my eyes and listening to the songs..LOL..wah mna..the 2 brothers look very alike..esp the side view..i tot it was josh when johnathan walk into the ballroom..suddenly like got a shock..haha..but john is slimer.. =X

haha..then i kept making fun of the bestman(joshua himself)..teasing him lah..so call pair him up with the bridemaid (who is 4 yrs older than him)..err..this guy's view is contradicting sometimes..LOL..dunno who say if girls older nvm..then now he dun want..what is this man.....haha..

hmm..like what mylene shared during prayer mtg a few weeks ago on wedding..that God likes wedding..in the bible, it talks abt Christ being the bridegroom and the church is the bride..it is a union..the bridegroom shld love the bride like how Christ love the church..and the bride is to be submissive to the bridegroom just as how the church submit to Christ..i believe that marriage is a wonderful thing..it is abt 2 person who seeks to glorify God together thru their marriage..heard of more weddings coming up..woo hoo!!haha..

ok..this post is super long..well..very long din post so long liao..hehe..

" The Lord is my Shepherd [to feed, guide, and shield me], I shall not lack.
He makes me lie down in [fresh, tender] green pastures; He leads me beside the still and restful waters.
He refreshes and restores my life (my self); He leads me in the paths of righteousness [uprightness and right standing with Him--not for my earning it, but] for His name's sake.
Yes, though I walk through the [deep, sunless] valley of the shadow of death, I will fear or dread no evil, for You are with me; Your rod [to protect] and Your staff [to guide], they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my [brimming] cup runs over.
Surely or only goodness, mercy, and unfailing love shall follow me all the days of my life, and through the length of my days the house of the Lord [and His presence] shall be my dwelling place."

Psalms 23

updated on 18/12, 3.14am

posted by cookoxt31 on 1:43 AM
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