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Is God trustworthy?

3:30 PM

3/11

ytd nite slp at 5plus..as to why?i think God knows..

i know God was speaking to me..my bond will end in nov next yr..and im quite sure that God is leading me out of this current job to another..it is not that im not happy with my current job..on the contrary, im really enjoying myself here with the kids, investing time into their life..God really blessed me with wonderful colleagues,superior and quite a non-political environmt..im satisfied and fulfilled here..really..this is my first full time job and im really thankful to God that he place me here..

but somehow, i feel that something is missing..i dunno how to describe..it is just missing..the feeling is like you have alrdy completely a 1000 pieces puzzle, with sweat and tears..but in the end, you found out that you have a missing piece..you know your job is not completed until you find the last piece..ya..somehow im feeling that way..i believe that God is leading me out of this job after my bond ends..so...........

Im face with the 3rd most impt decision in my life again(1st being the decision to receive Christ which was alrdy decided, 2nd being who to marry, which is still so so long ahead..)

What is my mission on this earth?

God's call for all Christians is definitely the Great Commission..thats our general mission on earth..

[18Then Jesus came to them and said, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."]

- Matthew 28:18-20

However, i believe that Im made for a more specific purpose other than the Great Commission, God's special mission design for me..just when i was praying and thinking abt this, at abt 430am(i was still tossing and turning in my bed then), God led me to read the "SHE" book by Rebecca St James and Lynda Hunter..it happened that i had finished reading the book just 1 hr back except the last 2 chapters..and i din know that the next chapter im reading will be regarding "purpose"..it seems that God is speaking to me loudly thru the book..although this is the 2nd time im reading the book..this made me all the more convicted that God is leading me out..to where?somehow i know the answer..but im really scared..seriously scared..

Then that leads to another quest..Can i trust God?

the Holy Spirit nudged me, "You shld not ask whether you can trust God, you shld ask yourself whether is God trustworthy..If God is trustworthy, then you can trust Him..if He is not, then you dun have to trust Him.."

that really struck a chord in me..what a simple yet profound answer..it is all abt asking the right questions..then i prayed to God..i asked Him, "God, are you trustworthy??" it is more than just knowing intellectually that God is trustworthy, it is abt experiencing it personally as we journey with God..God reminded me of all the past victories that i have together with Him..

1) Financial crisis in my family..my dad wanted to sell the house away..but both my mum and i tot that is definitely not a long term solution..i cried, i wept, i prayed for God's grace and mercy to be upon my family..somehow, my family was delievered of the crisis..just 1 week later after my dad mentioned abt the sale of the hse, the matter was resolved..uptill now, im still not sure how was it resolved..but i know that God took care of it..

2) Being the 1st generation christian, im faced with family objections and persecutions yrs back..not just my immediately family, but my extended family members(uncles, aunties, grandma, etc)..as the yrs passed, they are quite understanding now..my grandma will leave a portion of the food for me before offering it to the idols, and they din force me for ancestors worshipping..i believe God took care and is taking care and will be taking care of this till the day my whole family receive Christ.. =)

3) I had asthma since at the age of 5..when iwas 11-12 yrs old, my asthma wld relapsed at least twice a yr, each time i wld have to be admitted to the hosp for at least one week..just a minor cough or cold will trigger off my asthma..ever since my pastor prayed for me when i was 13 yrs old, my asthma did not visit me even once thruout these 8 yrs of my life no matter how serious my cough or cold is..this was one of the very very obvious and indeniable truth that my family witness..i know im healed by God..and i think my mum knows that im healed by God.. =)

4) During the first few months of sparklers ministry, i encountered tremendous difficulties with some of the pioneer members..there were distractions, division and deceptions in the ministry..being a very very young leader and i was quite young in faith, i was struggling betw pleasing God and pleasing ppl..very much..until God assured me that things will come to light in His time, i dun have to be ppl pleaser, i dun have to constantly gain the approval of others, as long as i know i did not sin against God..that put me in the right perspective, and soon after, things was resolved..again, im still not very sure of the details how things were solved, but i know God sent the right ppl and provided the grace for the ministry to be what it is today..Im not claiming credits for it..it is all God working thru and in us..

and many many more victories..but these are the few major ones which changed my life significantly..

so Eileen, now that God has proven Himself to be trustworthy and can be trusted,the next big quest..

Am i willing to trust Him??

Ultimately, it still boils down to the willingness of the heart..but God..it is hard, really hard....counting the heavy cost(not the money kind of cost) for THE cause, and not knowing what lies ahead seriously daunt me like never before..it is scary, seriously scary..

My dear brothers and sisters-in-Christ..do pray for me..pray for my heart and mind..and let me be sensitive to God's leading..thank you so much!! =)

[13For You did form my inward parts; You did knit me together in my mother's womb.
14I will confess and praise You for You are fearful and wonderful and for the awful wonder of my birth! Wonderful are Your works, and that my inner self knows right well.
15My frame was not hidden from You when I was being formed in secret [and] intricately and curiously wrought [as if embroidered with various colors] in the depths of the earth [a region of darkness and mystery].
16Your eyes saw my unformed substance, and in Your book all the days [of my life] were written before ever they took shape, when as yet there was none of them.]

- Pslams 139: 13-16

God created us with a purpose..i believe i know whats mine..

How abt you? =)

posted by cookoxt31 on 3:30 PM
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