[[[ Love from Cookoxt ]]]

ThInKiNg bAcK...

5:10 PM

28/8

woke up in the morning...suddenly memories of you came back vividly.................

when i was in sec 1...got to know you near at the end of the yr at the bball court..at first hate you like dunno wat like that....so hao lian,proud,arrogant,disgusting attitude,etc...i name it,you have it..but then..getting to know you better..find that you are not as bad as i think..crappy,lame,humourous...but with mature thinkings...then like you since that time...for 3 yrs?yup..3 yrs...all along these 3 yrs were just quiet one-sided love...din tell you for 3 whole yrs..only until during abt april last yr then you realise it...cos you said,i treat you too well.........for instance........you gave me an example...

i know that nobody ever celebrated your birthday for that 19 yrs....i feel really sad knowing that...so i promise that i will celebrate your birthday for you..that time you ask me for s***d, i reject...cos i know you dun have feelings for me...you say nvm,feelings can be developed..but i told you,develope already then say...i really feel so hurt you know...ok...the birthday..i called you..ask for your favourite dishes...then..i rem...your birthday was on a fri for the yr 2004...after sch..i rush home...prepare the meal...luckily i got cheryl and sharon with me...helping me...then i also went to tailor made a set of jersey for you...with your favourite number on it...then i also make a bottle of honey..worried that you may have a sore throat after eating so much fried stuff..then after finish cooking..took bus 969 down to tampines....i din tell you before hand that im going down...cos i decide not to see you...in case the love increased...i place the present and food outside your door step...called you on the fone...then you took the things in...you ask me where i am consistently...but i refuse to tell you...i dun want you to see me and vice versa...i know that time that there is somebody else in your heart...i know it will only make me even more difficult to forget you if i see you again...i really want to see you...but i have to harden my heart and not to see you...

then you called me...told me that the jersey fit you perfectly well and the food was to your great liking..im relieve..kept that promise of mine...i was on my way home on the bus...with tears rolling in my eyes...i was looking out the windows...thinking of all the time we chit chatted on the phone...bball...eating together..singing songs to each others....

i reached home...then took a bath...i know very well that ever since that day...things will nv be the same again..cos i want to avold you..thats the best solution..you called me every nite and told me abt your BGR..i know you got no1 to turn to confide in...im very hurt while listening to you..imagine the person you like for 3yrs tell you his BGR prob and you have to listen??but despite the pain..i continue to lend you my listening ear cos at least i can be your confidant and i dun want you to bottom your feelings up...i offered you advices on how to salvage your relationship with that girl..and you called me almost everyday to "update" me..i was feeling horrible...but i swallow it...just as long as you happy can le..ppl can say im stupid for offering advices to salvage his relationship with other girl..but i dun think so...it is his happiness that matters..

well..now a yr plus had pass...you entered into commando course..although your ambition of being a policeman cant be achieve,commando is also a gd choice..just that you dunno how to swim..worried for you..wonder how you going to get pass..haha..but im very glad that i have got over you...all these things are all in the past now..im happily living...glad to know that you are fine..hope that you are still coping well..watever it is...i will remember there is this guy who really help me to mature in thinkings...and there is always a little place for him in my heart(in the sense that i will rememebr him lah,not like him k..)i pray that you will walk closer with the Lord...be still and know that He is God...

hehe...go sch do project in the morn..then play table tennis and bball..haha..so fun..lol..the sun is very hot..but finally..i can get some sunlight...finding myself getting fairer..i want to be abit more tanned..hee..find that im a shui tong also..drink a lot of water...lol...piang...then my feet kana blisters..so pain...cos i wore sandals... :P (serve me right) haha...

**i hate this feeling....how come i feel this way huh?dun tell me i fall in love again??AH!!!!nope..I DUN WANT!!!scared of getting hurt...and i got no time to think abt it liao...i will just take things as they come....but cant be with unequally yoke...an impt commandmt...so im going to stand firm....God!!give me strength to overcome the temptation!!!trust in the Lord...

posted by cookoxt31 on 5:10 PM
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