[[[ Love from Cookoxt ]]]

A broken and contrite heart, He will not despise..

5:50 PM

the chalet was abit messy..but thank God that everyone arrived safely..heh..

the bbq was successful..although felt abit frustrated here and there cos of the delay..but ok lah..still ok.. titus, ryan and jeremy kept on making me luff..haha..ryan and jeremy were fanning the bbq fire..if anyone fan well and the fire was revived, i will encourage and praise them..told them they get 10 pts for that..then ryan and jermey fighting for that 10 pts.. so diao......haha..but very funny..haha..then david..called me " madam "..wah liew..haha..he said he would be at my service..LOL..then i told him to climb up the tree and jump down..haha..so comical..then he serve me drink like how an emperor would be served..haha..so funny!!then he was acting like a kid..LOL..super funny..ok lah..it did take away my frustration..thank you my dear cell!!

haha..my original cell grp was named the " chosen" cell.. then it splitted..one grp under chris and the other under shannon..so this cell grp chalet brought the 2 cells together..haha..the age grp in chris cell is roughly my age.. 16-18.. then shannon cell grew very fast..splitting soon le..happy for them!!haha..

then after the bbq is the night walk..we sent them out in pairs into the middle of a jungle in sentosa..there were lightsticks placed along the pathway..they were supposed to follow the green lightsticks and not the red ones..quite scary..in the jungle..there were bones but they were meant for display..however, in the nite, whether the bones are for display anot, it is still scary.. haha.. ryan was singing all the way from the start to the end to distract himself..LOL..got sum funny funny experiences from diff pairs..they learnt something thru this night walk.. 1st thing is trust..to trust wat the leaders said and to trust their partners even though there might be fear.. and most imptly to trust God that His light will lead them thru every circumstances..that's wat the lightsticks are for..trusting God, sometimes, will have a bit of fear and uncertainty..but as we learnt to trust and to take a step of faith each time, He will lead us thru.. it was a very meaningful activity..all thanks to the leaders!!LOL..no lah..all glory to Him..

went home with chris after sending them off.. went back home on sat nite cos sunday got sparklers..yup..heh..

today..we had a great time of " The Heart of Worship " prac.. so fun!!LOL..learnt the hillsongs kids actions.. last last prac.. after dancing the same song twice, i was lying on the floor liao.. cos it was like aerobics!! haha.. but for today, we modify abit..so not that bad..

just finish settling with God some stuff.. somehow when it comes to sharing feelings and tots, im an introvert.. normally if they are too personal, i will bury it and not tell anyone.. the deepest part of me is still not exposed to anyone yet but God.. tonite, i told God everything..had a conversational prayer with Him..things that happen yrs ago, told Him things that happen even before i received Christ..not that im still dwelling on it, but just wanted to tell Him everything.. my feelings and tots that time, etc.. as young as 9 yrs old, alot of things happened since.. the loss of 2 of my dearly love grand uncle and great grandma, the abuses, etc..told him my deepest desire(which i tend to bury it)..most of it is abt my family..and these few days, im abit stressed out..told him my frustrations, wat really went thru my mind, EVERYTHING.. i prayed.. and once again, i was broken.. i cried, wept, etc.. how helpless i felt, how unfair i tot things were, what He wants me to do, etc.. in my room, there is just me and Him, that's where my defences will be let down and be totally opened.. wats there to hide when He knows everything??

after an hour or so of crying and weeping, i read the Word of God.. psalms 126 :5-6 and psalms 130:5 and 7.. somehow the things that i went thru before receiving Christ, it just dawned upon me that they happened for some reasons..one of the reason is to build me up.. to make me stronger and to stand up for wat i believe in.. so that after i received Christ, i will be able to stand firm even in persecutions and trials..although the process is very very painful, it did make me stronger and tougher..of cos there were times when my faith wavered, when i dun spend quality time with Him, when my emotions took control of my whole being, but there will always be something in me that prompt me to return to Him, bible verses that will really convicts me deeply..His love, mercy and faithfulness endures forever..

of cos.. the normal Eileen is also the real Eileen that you all see.. the crappy, lame, loud, crazy side.. i assure all of you..thats also the real Eileen..thats my true self too.. hehe.. and abt 80% of the time, im positively and joyful cos my nature is like that..haha.. after a period of brokenness, i will carry on again..cos life still need to go on whether you like it or not.. each time im broken before God, it means that im one step closer to wholeness, to be made complete by the Lord.. and each time im broken, a seed is sown.. the seed of wholeness.. and in the end, i will reap in joy, gathering the harvest, which is the fact that i will be stronger in the Lord.. which in turns will make me able to pull thru the difficult circumstances with and in His strength..

"Those who plant in tears, will harvest with shouts of joy. They weep as they go to plant their seed, but they sing as they return with the harvest. "

Psalms 126:5-6

"I am counting on the Lord; yes, I am counting on Him. I have put my hope in His word."
"O Israel, hope in the Lord; for with the Lord there is unfailing love and an overflowing supply of salvation."

Psalms 130:5 and 7

"The sacrifice You want is a broken spirit. A broken and repentant heart, O God, You will not despise."

Psalms 51:17

posted by cookoxt31 on 5:50 PM
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